Twenty-Five Real Truths About You And Your Restaurant

These are presented through my eyes as your favorite customer and are by no means in order of importance. There however is a pattern here and it’s all about me and my needs. In the end I come to be entertained, to take care of my basic need for sustenance and to feel good. I could care less about you and your issues. Please remember that.

1. I don’t need to hear about your personal problems or your wait staff’s problems! I’ve got my own.
2. When I ask “what’s good on the menu?” Don’t tell me everything. Now I can’t trust you.
3. Thank me for coming to your restaurant and mean it. I’ll be really happy! Perhaps I’ll return.
4. Your barista doesn’t need to berate a regular customer for not being a good tipper. I heard that!!!
5. Don’t keep changing the wine list, There are certain wines I like to keep drinking.
6. I can feel the tension between your employees and you. My life is already stressful enough.
7. I don’t mind spending the money, as long as I feel I’m getting real good food.
8. If you treat the people I refer to your place extra nicely, it makes me look good.
9. Why don’t you ever ask me if I was satisfied with my drink and really liked my meal?
10. Every now and then give me a little free goody with my drink while I wait for dinner.
11. My relationship with you and your staff is not that of equals and it will never be like that.
12. Have your wait staff refrain from making me feel dumb if I don’t recognize certain foods.
13. Even if they have to yak while not serving, teach your wait staff to keep one eye on my needs.
14. I can’t stand it when they touch the rim of my glass. That where my mouth goes…yuk!
15. I said at the beginning that I was rushed for time so now don’t keep me waiting for my check.
16. Tell your wait staff to always make me feel good not just while its tipping time.
17. I want to be able to sit on your toilet and feel safe. Keep it clean and have seat covers there.
18. I’m the customer and I’m always right. To please me should be your delight.
19. You are here to entertain. Please don’t take my money in vain.
20. Your liquor prices are out of line with your competition. What makes you think you can gouge me.
21. It’s easy to check the tables and chairs to ensure they don’t rock before seating customers there.
22. What’s with the Blue Tooth ear pieces. Stay off the phone while you work. Pay attention to me.
23. I’m insecure, make me feel special and I’ll be happy and say good things about you and your place.
24. I don’t want your excuses for running out of my favorite dish. You should have ordered enough.
25. I really don’t give a rat’s ass about you. It’s all about “what’s in it for me”.

If there are any favorite truths you can add to these please leave me a comment and when I have enough, I’ll compile a new list and post it.


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